Skip to main content

Knocked Off My Pedestal

 It took a while for me to get my confidence back after my PD diagnosis but I did get it back.  I am a fighter and I am strong. I work really hard at staying healthy.  When you are doing well, it is easier to deny your symptoms and think you are winning the battle.  

I found out that it only takes one little thing to snatch that confidence back.  For me it was a fall.  I fell.  I can't believe that I fell!  Fortunately, other than a small bruise on my hand, I didn't get hurt.   I was carrying a chair through a doorway while dressed in a slim skirt and heels. I admit now that it was a stupid idea.   Of course, I had to do my less than graceful dance with the floor in front of a group of friends. I don't know if I caught my heel on the rug or if the chair threw me off balance.  I guess it doesn't really matter.  Someone without PD, would probably have shaken off their embarrassment  and moved on.  I felt my confidence being ripped out from under me once again.  The insecurity of what this illness can do to me reared its ugly head.  All night, I questioned myself.  "Am I getting worse?  Did my PD make me fall?"  My rational side knows that  anyone could have fallen doing what I was doing.  The cold, hard reality is that I do need to be more careful. Like it or not, I have Parkinson's.   I cannot afford an injury.  If I get injured, I will have to scale back my exercise. Exercise helps keep my symptoms at bay and keeps my confidence up.  So today, the day after my confidence bucket got dumped out all over the floor, I went back to the gym.  I worked hard and I even kicked some ass. My confidence bucket is filling back up drop by sweaty drop.  Hear that PD? You can't rob me of everything. I can do this hard thing and  I will fight you every step of the way.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Experience in the Clinical Trial for the New FDA Approved Subcutaneous Levodopa Pump

  It took quite a while but the FDA has finally approved a new way for people with Parkinson's to get levodopa. It is a subcutaneous pump designed by AbbVie. The medication is Foslevodopa/Foscarbodopa and they have named the new pump Vyalev.   Back in 2021, I joined the clinical trial. It was time intensive and I had to drive almost an hour and a half to and from the trial site once a week but I was excited to be part of a trial that I thought might make a difference for people with Parkinson's.   In a nutshell, I only got to wear the pump for about a month. The doctor overseeing the trial recommended that I stop because I was having a lot of bruising and swelling at the injection site and the meds were sometimes pooling under my skin instead of going into my system. I was disappointed to have to stop but I was hoping that my experience in the trial gave the researchers some info that would be helpful. Now that it is on the market, I want to try it again. So what w...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's Time for Change

  At the end of a year, it is common to look back and take stock of what has been working and what needs to change.  This past year, 2024, marked the eight-year anniversary of my Parkinson’s diagnosis and the seven-year anniversary of being a dedicated, passionate, leader in my local Parkinson’s community. It also was my most difficult year living with the symptoms of Parkinson’s.  I ended the year exhausted, sick with Covid, and beyond frustrated with the status quo of Parkinson’s treatments, and our current healthcare system. People with a neurodegenerative condition like Parkinson’s should not have to fight so hard to get treatments they need. Even with all the research being done, and money being spent, Parkinson’s remains the fastest growing neurological disorder. It is still progressive with no cure. We are still having to fight to ban substances that we know cause Parkinson’s.    The scale has tipped for me this year. In 2025, I will spend more ...
Post a Comment
Read more

We Have to Make Wellness Happen

  As I inch closer to the eight-year anniversary of my diagnosis, it becomes clearer every day. If I want to continue to live well with Parkinson's, I must work intentionally at it. I need to figure out (with the help of my care team) what is needed and then do it. That might mean going to speech therapy. It might mean switching up my workouts or adjusting my diet (again). It definitely means that I will have to do some things that I don't feel like doing and if I want to stay well, I will need to continue this for the rest of my life (unless of course a cure comes soon). I have seen the result of hard work in myself and in many, many friends. Those who are putting in the effort are doing better than those waiting for something to happen.  We have to make wellness happen and it is hard to do every day. That is one of the reasons I think it is so important to be part of a community of others with Parkinson's. They are the ones who understand and the ones that can kick you in...
Post a Comment
Read more