Knocked Off My Pedestal

It took a while for me to get my confidence back after my PD diagnosis but I did get it back. I am a fighter and I am strong. I work really hard at staying healthy. When you are doing well, it is easier to deny your symptoms and think you are winning the battle.

I found out that it only takes one little thing to snatch that confidence back. For me it was a fall. I fell. I can't believe that I fell! Fortunately, other than a small bruise on my hand, I didn't get hurt. I was carrying a chair through a doorway while dressed in a slim skirt and heels. I admit now that it was a stupid idea. Of course, I had to do my less than graceful dance with the floor in front of a group of friends. I don't know if I caught my heel on the rug or if the chair threw me off balance. I guess it doesn't really matter. Someone without PD, would probably have shaken off their embarrassment and moved on. I felt my confidence being ripped out from under me once again. The insecurity of what this illness can do to me reared its ugly head. All night, I questioned myself. "Am I getting worse? Did my PD make me fall?" My rational side knows that anyone could have fallen doing what I was doing. The cold, hard reality is that I do need to be more careful. Like it or not, I have Parkinson's. I cannot afford an injury. If I get injured, I will have to scale back my exercise. Exercise helps keep my symptoms at bay and keeps my confidence up. So today, the day after my confidence bucket got dumped out all over the floor, I went back to the gym. I worked hard and I even kicked some ass. My confidence bucket is filling back up drop by sweaty drop. Hear that PD? You can't rob me of everything. I can do this hard thing and I will fight you every step of the way.

Comments

Missing Tom

I recently lost a good friend. Never would I have imagined that I would become such good buddies with a man old enough to be my dad. I met Tom over seven years ago in a Rock Steady Boxing class. I entered class as a shy, teary-eyed, newly diagnosed mess who didn't like to sweat and had never boxed. Tom quickly took me under his wing, introduced me to the movers and shakers in the local Parkinson's community and eventually recognized a potential in me to further help the community. Within a year, with the encouragement of Tom and others, I became a certified Rock Steady coach. Tom and I would go to the same conferences and seek out the newly diagnosed. Ever the salesman, Tom would ask me if I "closed the deal," meaning, did I convince someone to come to an exercise class or attend a support group. Tom knew the benefits of attending these groups and he wanted everyone else to know also. He just wanted everyone to live the best life possible, even while living

Diagnosing with Compassion and Hope

My hackles are raised, my feathers are ruffled, my … I’m not sure I can find the words for how I am feeling. This morning, I read a recently published article called “ Delivering the diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease-setting the stage with hope and compassion.” I am not upset that the article was written. I am glad that the authors have brought this to the attention of others. I am upset that it needed to be written. I just think it is common sense that when someone is given a life-changing diagnosis, it should be given with hope and compassion. The authors note that some say the moment of diagnosis is “almost akin to a traumatic event such as the loss of a loved one.” Of course it is! The person receiving the diagnosis is losing their future self. Everything they thought their life would be from that moment on has now drastically changed! I would count that as traumatic. I was one of these people over seven years ago who walked out of the Movement Disord

Out of My Mind...

If you have been living with Parkinson's for a while, you are likely living at the mercy of Parkinson's medications. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that medications are available. Without them, life would be miserable much of the time. But don't get me wrong (again), even with medication, you may feel like you are losing your mind. Early on, you take your meds on schedule, you can pretty much count on how long they will last and know what to avoid with them (protein maybe). As the years pass, and your symptoms progress, you would think you could either just, A. increase your meds or B. increase the frequency of your meds depending on what your doctor recommends. This seems logical to me. Sometimes this works, but eventually you end up with an E-ticket to the Dopacoaster. What is special about the Dopacoaster is that the tracks can change hour to hour. You took the ride yesterday and felt good. Life with PD was manageable. Today, you follow the same sche

Rock Steady Fighter

Search This Blog